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(Source: justmesteffigatdula, via thehilariousblog)
#Johnny Depp #can call Robert Downey ‘Bob’ #you can’t call him Bob cause you don’t know him #but Johnny Depp can
And I saw Captain Jack leave my son’s eyes and Iron Man was the ticket.
You precious man, you.
(Source: ofsparrowsandmockingjays, via cognitive-recalibration)
- Teacher: Time to hand in the homework, everyone. Now, I know I said it would be pretty low-key, but-
- Me: LOKI?
- Teacher: Pardon?
- Me: The God of Mischief.
- Teacher: ...okay. So, where's your homework?
- Me: I don't have it.
- Teacher: What?
- Me: I sent it off, I know not where.
- Teacher: Are you feeling okay? You're speaking a little strange...
- Me: Is it madness? IS IT?
- Teacher: Hey, watch your tone-
- Me: WHY? BECAUSE I'M THE MONSTER PARENTS TELL THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT AT NIGHT?
- Teacher: Okay, I think you need to-
- Me: How's your coffee?
- Teacher: What?
- Me: You can't survive without your coffee, right? Like gas in the tank?
- Teacher: I don't-
- Me: There's no gas in the tank.
- Teacher: What-
- Me: I took the caffeine out. Decaf. It's decaffeinated. You're going to get TIRED and fall ASLEEP. Ohohohohohohoho, you're going to look like such an ASS.
- Teacher: Okay, I think it's time for-
- Me: LOKI'D.
- Teacher: Could someone escort her up to the Principal's office?
- Me: NO. YOU ARE ALL OF YOU BENEATH ME.
- Teacher: Preferably several someones?
- Me: I AM A GOD. I WON'T BE BULLIED BY A-
- Teacher: Restrain her.
- Me: *being dragged away* I DO WHAT I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaant...
- Teacher: What even.
- Friend: You know, she may not have done her homework, but you can be damn sure she'll avenge it.
Maegen, this is for you
must be getting tired cause this cracked me up and then I sat there looking at it and starting laughing more
(via caitlin-kayli)
(Source: lawyerupasshole, via thehilariousblog)
